Sometimes I just feel upset and frustrated with myself.
It’s not like I mean to feel this way but I haven’t spoken to my mother in a long time.
My friend and I last talked about his brother’s battle with pancreatic cancer, and I know he’s just too depressed right now to talk. I’ll give him some space and then catch up once he’s recovered from his loss. I’m not even sure if he’s alive or dead because I haven’t heard anything from her, but he’ll be gone very soon. He was only about 15 years older than me, so I grew up with him. Heating, ventilation, and A/C system repairs were his job for many years, and I know he smoked a few packs an afternoon while working on the heating and cooling equipment, which I’m sure didn’t help with his current situation. I know he and my mother both lived to be 79 years old, which means that if I am in the same boat, I only have about 17 years left wow. I’ve been a Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning representative for many years and feel it’s time to move on to something else rather than cleaning heating devices and repairing temperature controls for the rest of my life. For many years, I enjoyed doing the labor, but now I want to try something new, such as learning a musical instrument or performing improv on stage. I’d like to perform at this local supplier near me that offers acting and other performing arts classes before I’m too old.