At the end of the previous school year, my daughter Liz talked me into chaperoning her fourth grade class outing to the local zoo. I should have asked far more questions about the trip. I assumed we’d be taking a charter bus with comfy seats, tv screens, a bathroom and a/c. Instead, we boarded an ancient cheese wagon with no seatbelts and inadequate shocks. At seven o’clock in the morning, the outside temperature was climbing into the mid-eighties with excessive humidity and no breeze at all. For safety reasons, the windows on the bus only opened about two inches and thus provided no relief. The bus was not equipped with HVAC or even a fan, and the drive lasted an hour and a half. By the time we got there, I was drenched in sweat with a headache and queasy stomach. Touring the zoo was even worse than the bus ride. There was precious little shade and very few indoor, a/c’d spaces. I subtly encouraged my kids to spend lots of time in the gift shop and reptile house. These spaces were well air conditioned, cool, and such a pleasant relief from the heat and bad smells. On the return trip on the overheated bus, two kids got sick and threw up. I couldn’t bear it. When I finally got home, I lowered the thermostat setting, poured myself a generous glass of iced wine and stood directly in front of the a/c vent. I don’t plan on signing up for another school trip unless I learn more about our means of transportation and destination.